Our stunning columnist, Emma E. Rouge is currently on vacation, so for another week, we’re treating you to the musings of another Badger writer’s personal thoughts on the grand prix weekend.  Put your hands together please for Ciaran Buttonham’s F1 Top 5 and bottom 1 – Thanks – Ed. Read Emma’s previous columns here

Following the unfortunate events in Saturday’s qualifying, we were left in some doubt as to whether we could possibly enjoy this year’s Hungarian Grand Prix.  Thankfully, and despite the last 35 laps of mundane misery, Eddie, Flavio and the boys were in town to make sure that his was yet another treasured episode in 2009’s Formula One World Championship.

Just Like The Good Ol’ Days

Oh truly, it was for the fleeting of moments just like old times. When the resolution of the first corner battle became pronounced in the presence of not just Raikkonen, but Alonso and, rejoice, our little Hamilton as well. Oh how we smiled, for we knew that this was going to be racing. Full on dominance by the masters, forget your new boys Brawn and Red Bull, we had Ferrari on McLaren, with a, well ok a Renault. But who was driving the Renault? Yes that crafty old mono-browed purveyor of racing filth, none other than Mr Fernando Alonso. After everything the so far bizarre weekend had thrown our way, we could now feel comfortable enough to sit back, relax and allow normality to quench our flustered hearts once more. And we would have got away with it, if it weren’t for those pesky kids mechanics.

Look Out, Jordan’s About!

Eddie Jordan let loose on the Formula One grid is not so much the bull in the china shop we had expected but perhaps more like that aunt who has the terrible, but fascinatingly hilarious habit of getting ‘merry’ and telling everyone exactly what she thinks of them. It couldn’t have been scripted, Jordan’s first utterances to FOM supreme Bernie Ecclestone;

Eddie “Aren’t you signing the Concorde Agreement this week?’

Bernie “I can’t write…”

Eddie “I just thought you couldn’t pay.”

Oh no you didn’t! Eddie Jordan is a bad man to say that to Mr Ecclestone. What next – will it be “how are you finding sitting down?” to Max…

In that moment Eddie erased all his previous wrong doings and slanderous blitherings, he is now Prince Phillip sans the peculiarly acceptable (it’s alright ‘cause he’s old) racism.

Here’s Hammy!

He’s back and no sooner had he crossed the line than the muppet of all things media related, was moping on about the team. No, to be fair, I don’t think a single one of us really minded; after all the struggle and strife the lad has had to contend with in the past months, we’ve seen him really mature as a character on and off the track, and Hamilton was dead on in thanking his team, who as Eddie Jordan so eloquently put it have managed to do something with “that dog of a car.” The most rewarding thing about Sunday for fans of Lewis was the very pronounced fact that this was no fluke. Though he battled little for his prominence at the front, there was no doubt that the McLaren team arrived in Hungary this past weekend with a supremely dominant car in both straight-line speed and cornering ability, (yes I know it’s a slow track). And reassuringly, in the past years that we have seen the McLaren, they have not been ones to allow their development to fall off mid-season. Hamilton for WDC 2009 anyone?

Briatore’s Belligerence

We’d criticise, but perhaps the next point is the very reason we all secretly love the Flavster. No? 40-odd laps run, Alonso out, Piquet out of the team, Flavio had had enough. And, to be fair, who can blame him, when you’ve got an insanely beautiful wife at home, is the prospect of hearing mono-brow moan and Jr cry something that’s going to keep you hanging about that dust bowl for long? Badger honestly can’t fault him on his behaviour this week and maybe even salutes him a little. But now that we’ve got a need to fill column inches, what is going to happen to poor Piquet? As Brundle pointed out, these young guys are coming into the sport earlier and earlier, and being expected to perform on a par with veterans like Barrichello, I’m not suggesting a two-tier driver championship, but maybe something needs to be done about their lack of experience. If only there was some way for the drivers to like test the cars or something, I dunno, too far out maybe…

Panic, Pandemonium and Profanities!

Was that actually not the best end to a qualifying session we could have hoped for? It was more exciting, more involving and vastly more hilarious than anything I can ever remember. Before I go on further, can someone please explain to me how in that small gap where Jenson Button’s eyes normally rest, there is suddenly a whole world of expression and exclamation when his visor is up? Even with the sound off, you could still guess what precise expletive was being uttered from within. And thanks Jake, just in case the small kiddies who are so puzzled by your sudden disappearance from their television shows and reappearance on Daddy’s programmes weren’t confused enough, you had to pretty much spell out the muffled potty mouth of Mr Button. I’m sure the Mail will be giving Button a kicking for that now he’s struggling with the championship, good old tabloids. I elect that we begin a campaign to dramatically spice up the end of qualifying in similar fashion. Perhaps on the premise of musical chairs, all engines are cut and regardless of position on circuit, the guys will have to jump from their cars quick as a flash and sprint back to the pit lane. First one to get weighed is on pole and so on? Maybe not! So how come someone got away with banning refueling next year then?

This week, I’m a bit miffed by Red Bull, or to be more specific Sebastian Vettel. Come on lad, you’re better than this, and I’m going to look stupid if you don’t win after all the biggin’ up I’ve done around my band-waggoning Button friends. Where on earth have you been, and what’s happened to your raw speed? No actually, I’m more miffed by knee jerk steward reactions that I had hoped were left firmly at the door or 2009.